The first contestant in the double digits: Audrey Ling!
A wayward aunt with no computer access, in honor of her birthday. Audrey, this is your moment to shine.
In case anyone is wondering, yes, I am attempting to give my aunt a blog post instead of an actual birthday present. I am a bad person. But at least I look like I should be a nice, friendly person. I only care about appearances.
Also, I posted on the Glimpse blog, which is here.
Watch Out for Walrus! 
I am the walrus, I am the fish burrito, I am the hval. Does that convince you? If not, references upon request, please note whether you prefer this planet, or other include universe please.
I can post a baby ben tale.
Ummm, I know a Chinese word. Aiyaaaaaa!
I love you dearly! And thank you for your birthday present and all the hints.
Audrey Ling, your aunt, I mean it, I really do.
Do I win? Do I go in the pot for the grand prise?